If I do this, then I get to do that …

I have finally gone and done it. I booked my appointment for the full extraction of my last two wisdom teeth. On May 29th I will finally get to tick this big thing off my list of health issues I need to deal with before I can think about my next move. Actually it isn’t that big of a list but the things on the list are big-ish. It is sort of like a Health and Wellness list.

When I initially moved to Edmonton I had also been considering a return to Seoul, South Korea. I was in a bind and I needed steady, consistent income to pull myself out of a bit of a financial pickle. I gave myself 6 weeks to find work in Alberta and if that didn’t happen teaching was going to happen. South Korea has always been my back up plan. By the grace of the universe I found work in Edmonton and have been working tirelessly to get myself back on track.  The thing is – I am back on track and now I am ticking the things of the Health and Wellness list.

Truth be told -I have had an irrational fear of getting my wisdom teeth out. I have no idea why I started living in fear but here we are in my late 30ies doing that fear thing that is so irrational. Sometimes I feel like I lacked the years in growing up and all the sudden I need to do all of this shit so fucking quickly. Maybe that just comes with being in your late 30ies. Sometimes I feel sad that I was so lost for so long; the wake up smack didn’t hit me till recently in a way I never saw coming. Now I am just questioning and judging and trying to figure myself out so I can figure out relationships and friendships. I digress.

There are a couple of other things on this list that I have started that aren’t complete. My lease is up in April of next year … so I have some investigating, planning and figuring out to do. But all of that is on the back burner while I actually just do some living, loving and some gawd damn self care.

My new questions in life are … how will this impact my financial well being and how will this affect my emotional and health well being? The answer is simple friends –  getting my teeth out will likely stop my mouth from hurting, jaw pain, headaches and such, my over all oral hygiene will be better and now that I have dental coverage this should not impact my  wallet too much – in fact doing it now will likely save me money later.

Are you on a journey of self improvement? What is on your “if I do this , then I get to do that” list?

Lets talk about it below!

xoxo, C

 

 

PAUSE.

Since sometime before my trip to Iceland in early November I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with everything in my life. Not in a ‘I quit and want to run away’ kind of way but in a growing, learning, need to restructure kind of way. Now as we roll into the festive season I have come down with one of those gnarly head colds that takes over your life. The kind that makes socializing seem entirely impossible and makes you want to stand in a hot shower for hours on end. I am that kind of sick. It has been making me feel like I need to take a big step back from all the jobs, blogs, vlogs and such and just reevaluate where I want to put all my time.

I need a pause.

Yesterday I was reading some online bloggery about goals and time management and how we can only feasibly work on so many big projects a year. We need to pick the most important ones and  make a master plan of monthly goals, weekly goals and daily goals in order to achieve success for the year.  My problem is that I have too many project on the go and they all mean the world to me, I want to be perfect at all of them. See success in all of them – how is one supposed to really just pick 2 things. Right?!

2016 or 2017 goals, reflections – all that crazy jazz you “supposed” to think about this time of year… Being sick and the end of the year – it is just making me think I need a gawd damn break. I have been working full tilt since I move to Edmonton. 2 jobs, plus creative outlets, conventions and then stressing that I have no time for anything else. I think this time of year you just need to hit pause, see how far you have come, what you can do to make things better, what you need to weed out, who you might need to weed out and just focus on all the amazing accomplishments you make in your life. Pause isn’t a bad thing. Pause is just a time to reflect so moving forward can be more successful, more brilliant and more of exactly what you want.

I am saying that even through I am working straight through Christmas this year, I am sick as a dog and am at my full time job because I need to money to pay my rent and bills. I write this from my work office desk, on a full blown dayquil binge, and after 32oz of caffeine … thinking to myself, why have I extended myself so bad that I need to work when I am so sick. I am learning I need to be better at hitting pause and taking care of myself. I need to stop feeling guilty for not doing things and living up to unreasonable expectations I put on myself. I am writing this because I think there are a lot of people out there that forget to give themselves a break. Forget who they are in the blanket of hurry, and money and bills and life – when we all just need a moment to chill the fuck out, be thankful and be gawddamn grateful for everyone in our lives.

So this is me telling you this Holiday season –  to remember to take a moment to pause and reflect and realize that your are a bomb ass person who is achieving your goals. You are awesome. And even Awesome people need a break sometimes.

The USA Election.

Sweet Jesus!

I seriously watched in disbelief as Donald Trump won the American Presidential election last night. What does one even say?! It is beyond shocking to me that bigotry, misogyny and stupidity won an election. I don’t even understand at what point … in the year 2016 … a Country voted to get rid of their civil rights?

For the most part I know the RAD-EST of American people – the ones that have taken into their own hands to educate themselves about the world beyond what they learned in their Country. I know the ones that spent time abroad, that took education into their own hands and that really wouldn’t vote for such an atrocity. I am lucky to know the awesome ones!

But to the rest of you … there is a very strong sentiment today that I think some of you need to be reminded of … my Country, Canada, is not your consolation prize! We are rad as fuck up here and for you to think you can just come and stay is a reminder of the ignorance that plagues a good population of American people. We have always been awesome. We are not awesome just because you suck so bad right now!

I am honestly in shock as much as you all are – this might be the most terrifying thing I have ever seen on the news. But, you will survive. And, Hey – if it makes you feel better – we voted in Harper! And I think we are recovering just fine (at the moment).

Anyway – I naively don’t know a lot about American politics. We run our Country very different.  I watched the debates, I saw some platforms … And I seriously wonder if another American presidential assassination might happen?!

This also might be the time that you all consider that work abroad idea that has been floating around in your head for sometime? I mean – there are lots of cool places to see 🙂

It is going to be an interesting 4 years to say the least.