What keeps you HAPPY?

I recently started reading the book Pivot by Jenny Blake. One of those interesting reads that forces you to look within to figure out to where to go next.

This last little while I have been feeling stagnant in my life:  work, sleep, eat, sleep, go on a date, have it not work, go for a coffee with friends, realize I’m on a different page, sleep, chat with my sisters, visit the shopping store, buy shit, attempt to be fulfilled … blah, blah … I like all those things but it lacks adventure.  I have been feeling stagnant at my job because there is no where for me to advance and in Edmonton as a city as a whole. I feel bored. Boredom to the extent that it is causing me headaches from not being challenged enough.

Normally my next move would be to move. Country hop. Lifestyle hop. Do something that challenges me. However, I am trying to adult. Hardcore. I am trying to get a stronghold on paying off my loans. I promised myself that I wouldn’t move abroad again until I have paid down 20K off my student loans (hint – that is at like 19k and change away OR at very least I need to have paid of my Alberta and Nova Scotia Loans)

And then this came up in my Instagram feed this AM:

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And it hit me hard with the wonderment of this existence in my life. You know, happiness. What is missing? What is lacking? Am I happy with my life here in Edmonton?

With all this information smacked together – I have come to this vortex of knowledge.  The Oprah light bulb moment or “AH-HA” rang its bell. My intentions for Edmonton was money. Pure and simple. I moved to this city out of a place of desperation. I left Montreal crumbled, beaten down and exhausted. I moved back to Alberta and specifically Edmonton because I needed a fresh start, I needed a job in my field and I needed to crush some immediate debt that I acquired living in Montreal.  I was over extended everywhere.

 

However, since I now have paid those debts. Had my debt fatigue trips. And have re-budgeted for student loan payments. I am thinking, what’s next? I am month two into this and I just feel drained. I lack a drive and desire to do things. Be social. Have fun. I feel like everything goes back to money. I don’t want to drink because I don’t have money. I don’t want to drink because  am on a diet.  I don’t have money because I am spending $1000 a month on debt repayment. I want to be skinny but can be fucked to eat right buuuut my weight is wearing on my self confidence. There is always fucking something that limits me … and you know what guys, that something is me. That something is my intentions. That something is an unwillingness to go it alone and explore Edmonton for what it really has to offer.

In light of signing my lease for another year. And officially staying in Edmonton for awhile – I have decided to give it my all.  Because I know that debt repayment is happening I can now set my intentions on other things like – weigh-loss, building a social community, developing my creative space online via this blog, Instagram and twitter and just being here. This is a huge shift. This means maybe reworking my schedule, maybe feeling uncomfortable, maybe learning to not let my anxiety take over my life. But there is only one person that can change things and that person is me. Sometimes you need to change up the routine, apply for new jobs, work on your passion projects and really see the fruits of your labor.

With that in mind I want to know from you:

Are you in love with your life? How did you make that happen? Could you have more? How are you challenge yourself to be happier?

LEAVE ME SOME LOVE IN THE COMMENTS &

PLEASE FOLLOW ME – HELP ME GROW MY COMMUNITY!

XOXO,

C

DO COOL SH*T

Yes the book. Yes Miki. Yes getting out there and creating a life. Yes creating a business. Actually today I wanted to give you a book review of this novel about getting out their as a young entrepreneur and creating a business.

But in light of almost getting canned from BOTH my jobs in one day. I thought I would not talk about entrepreneurial stuff but actually commit to doing some cool shit, right here, right now.

17 cool things I want to do in the rest of 2017:

  • Grow a salad in my apartment (kale or lettuce, green onion, herbs, tomatoes, and aloe or some other low maintenance plant)
  • Build a YouTube channel
  • Paint my wall pistachio and get my vintage inspired couch
  • Dye my hair like a Peacock
  • Join the rowing club in Edmonton
  • Fully commit to Vegan and not be 90% Vegan
  • Finish my tattoo removal and get my ankle tattoo to cover it
  • Get my arm tattoo-ed
  • Pierce my nose … for the 8th time
  • Travel in India or Indonesia – just go on a vacation
  • Hit up as many of the Provincial Parks in Alberta as I can this summer.
  • Buy a Bicycle
  • Become a Thrift Queen
  • Read all the books on my bookshelf
  • Mediate once a day
  • Learning to be happy just the way I fucking am ❤
  • Make some solid Edmonton Friends

 

In the craziness of life, paying off my debt and doing all sort of things – sometimes I forget to just be and have fun and to love myself. So I decided I needed to make a list and do just that.

What is on your 2017 list that is fun stuff, not about debt or work etc

Leave me some Love,

XOXO,

C

Tinder is the Night

Since sometime before I moved to Edmonton I had long been dreaming of writing a blog about my online dating experiences because let me tell you when you are open minded and truly want to see the best in everyone – you really meet some interesting people. The problem is – there are lots of people that I have dated that could come across said tales of hilarity, awkwardness and down right insane-ness. Granted, I am not obtuse enough to think that people care about me that much or about what I have to say, or that people that  I used to date read my little rantings, also truth be told, there are a lot of them that just don’t speak very good English. So, there is that … but my point is – I haven’t quite figured out how to be descriptive yet vague, all telling but discrete – because lets be honest, subtleness is not my forte.

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Anyway –  I am pondering the idea of opening up the flood gates of my adventures in online dating while in your 30ies, in a city where the primary industry is something I am not quite caught up in and the race to overworking and dying young is all to apparent. But since I too am caught up in money, money, money, money and the desperate desire to dominate my debt my dating life has kind of diminished. But with spring in the air – it’s time to get back on the dating saddle – full force. (hahahaha – yeah, I said that)

My experience so far in Edmonton has been sort of  bleak. Not totally – there have been a couple of super sweet not a good match men. But over all  I am uninspired. The online dating pool in your 30ies is flooded with men who are in “open relationships”  and they promise their wives know, it’s flooded with males looking for an adventurous women for their wife, a lot of rig pigs that have pictures of their freshly hunted deer, elk or some other animal that they have just murdered and them smiling so proud and accomplished. There is a whole bunch of people that aspire to travel but what they mean is all inclusive Mexico. I have been proposed to for a visa, offered to be paid to service a brother, been accused of being a prude because I wouldn’t let a man come to my apartment after a 3 text first conversation on Tinder, I have been ghosted more times than I can count, I have been friend zoned, laughed at and still, friends, I GO BACK FOR MORE! Needless to say it has been an interesting ride (pardon the pun) of interesting people and great stories.

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Basically this post is a feeler for the audience of such a monthly or weekly column of sorts on this lifestyle blog. So if you are reading this and think you might want to read such a series – throw down a like or a comment so I know people are interested.

Until then Beautifuls, remember the night is only as Tinder as you make it.

Love,

C

 

 

 

Hustlin’

I picked up an extra shift today and while I normally don’t work Saturdays I am working tonight and this song is in my head:

 

Everyday I’m hustling. Because every day I do – expect Saturdays, when I sleep.

It is no secret that I have 2 jobs. 1 full time job working as a CAD monkey making floorplans for trade show company here in Edmonton and one part time side hustle with the siren at Starbucks. I work anywhere from 53-60 hours a week. This depends on the week, my level of exhaustion and my ability to work with the public (cuz let’s be real yo, lots of bitches be drinking skinny vanilla lattes!). Sometimes I find the more busy I am the more shit I accomplish. And, there is a lot of truth to the simple reality that if you are always at work its hard to spend your money. I am lucky that there are some super duper cool people at both my jobs and that the jobs work well for scheduling my life.

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The secret to surviving while working this much & to staying human: I take the same one day off, every week and do not work! That is my Carol day. It is needed and earned and Jesus fuck a girl needs her sleep, and to get shit done, be social and just be.

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Pros & Cons of the Starbucks Side hustle:

  • if I want extra hours I can usually get them at my store or from any other Starbucks in the Edmonton area
  • Usually it is easy to get rid of a shift or book off time if I am feeling like I need a normal weekend (by that I mean 2 days) or I need a break
  • My income from that job varies but is anywhere from $400 – $1000/month working anywhere from 12-20 hrs a week!
  • I have worked on and off for Starbucks from a long time, it’s routine, it’s easy and – hell moonlighting as a Barista gives you lots of opportunity to meet pretty interesting people
  • Sometimes I get super exhausted and Friday night is literally me, tea and documentaries if I can actually stay awake long enough to get through it
  • The perk of 1lb of free coffee or one box of tea every friggin’ week!
  • Pretty decent employee discount when I want new go cups for my ever growing collection AND partner shopping days
  • Working with young people keeps me young
  • Two jobs can be soul sucking because you are working or you are sleeping
  • It eats up social time, gym time, life time, dating time, finding a husband time etc
  • It eats up my writing time
  • People sometimes talk to you like you are a sack of shit and uneducated and stupid and it makes me want to scream in their face  because lets be real – you aren’t drinking Starbucks on the daily if you are on any kind of debt repayment plan – that shit is expensive!

I think there are tonnes of things you can do for a side hustle. It is my opinion that a second income stream is likely your best bet. I was reading on Budgets are Sexy yesterday an entire post about all the different things you can do as a side hustle. I have some research to do to get to the next level.

With that friends, it is Saturday early afternoon, I am drinking my coffee while I write this, I have eaten,  tindered, I washed and cleaned my kitchen is preparation for meal prepping tonight, I powered through writing this blog post, I just need to get dressed, get my myself funky and get myself to work.

That’s how we do it in my world – thank Zeus for free caffeine!

xoxo,

C

 

 

Laser Tattoo Removal

Here we are … I did it! Well I mean, I just began the process to get the beast off my leg. The art of tattoo-ing has come so far in the last 10 years. Gone are the days of flash. Hello are the days of LASER tattoo removal. You are probably wondering why I would even get a tattoo lasered off my leg …

It boils down to one fucking thing – I hated the disaster of a tattoo on my leg!

The more I looked at it and the more people questioned what it was, the more insecure I felt about it. I am on a journey in my life right now to find inner happiness and peace and all that zen shit and I really just want to be proud of the tattoo that takes up some serious real estate on my leg.

The tattoo was once a 3 heart-ed fairy dust ode to some friendships I made in my early twenties with some of the women I worked with. At the time I didn’t realize they were just trying to care for me and mother me and love me – at the time they were my friends. I still remember the day Nell showed up on my door in Antigonish. It was so amazing and beautiful and what friends do.  Many years later after my friendships dwindled because of distance and a heavy dose of drugs became the norm I caught feelings in what was to become a very painful relationship. I got the hearts covered with a lotus. I was determined there was beauty at the bottom of this ugly pond I was swimming in and the tattoo cover up was to be a reminder to find beauty anywhere – the thing is – the tattoo turned out to be a disaster … and for a long time I embraced it in my life. A beautiful mess of running, disappearing and evasiveness.

Fast foward through a bunch of personal blogs, and randomness and growth and running and rock bottom and here I am – in Edmonton – the last place I thought I would ever be and I am making it work. And as fucking cheezy as it sounds healing my broken wings – refusing to take shit from know one (no matter the cost) and dealing with all the shit that I didn’t have time to deal with before … like fixing the gawd awful mess on my legs.

 

That’s all folks – until next time!

xoxo,

C