Some days I am just trucking along and it is like I see myself outside of my body doing things that I shouldn’t* be doing.
I tell myself I want to feel more comfortable in my skin, in my body, but I am also eating that extra bag of potato chips in my car because I was to lazy to make myself food. I stay in bed all day watching TikToks – mindlessly scrolling through my life not caring about doing the things I could be doing to put myself into a better space.
I spend a lot of time thinking about the things that I want to do but not actually producing the things that I need to produce to do them.
Confidence. Motivation. Ambition. Drive.
Where did you go?
Is manifestation of personal greatness just an act or a role we play?
Do you ever see the vision of yourself and then all the sudden intrinsically understand why things are not working the way you want? Like you all the sudden one day understand how destructive your habits are to your sucess?
You can see yourself sitting in the fear, you can see yourself scared and not making a move? You can see yourself not the person you want to be because (although attainable) you just aren’t working for it? Like at all. Like never. Like you talk a big game about a goal but don’t actually pursue it – just talk about how you want it.
Are you scared you are going to fail?
I noticed this week that Sons of Anarchy was added into Netflix, and Friends, this is honestly one of my favourite TV shows. I have rewatched it SO MANY TIMES and as I was laying in my bed watching reruns the other night I took a pause and started to research some of the actors.
I saw a recent -ish picture of Ryan Hurst (in his Sikh turban) and Charlie Hunnam (all British and clean cut) and they were doing Kundalini yoga. It was so interesting and strange. I am binge watching them on a show where they are constantly drinking and smoking and being badass criminals – getting to know them as a character and to see them as people – in a normal life is an entirely different act. In this moment I really started thinking about how life is just an act. And you – you can create any character you want.
Can we as humans just decided we want to be something different and create it by acting the part?
Life is sometimes all about acting – How do you decide who you want to be?
In the plethora of self help book I have read they talk about the same things – creating your life and doing the things. Get up early, do the yoga, train your mind, train your body, create a path for yourself, follow through, don’t stop. Just never stop trying to achieve the dream. It is hard work, lonely work but you are worth it.
The problem with online creators and actors is that we just see the final product of one particular role. We never really see the work it takes to get to the final product and that is what my weekly epiphany was about; the behind the scenes of getting everything done – the hours of Jiujitsu to give you the body you want, the strict diets and the hard work. The discipline for success.
This week I am questioning my behind the scenes work ethic and if I am in fact doing the things I need to do to get it done.
Am I creating the part for myself where I am the leading character in my own life?
You are the star of your show! How does the leading character act? Are you inline with that? Are you creating the ultimate dream role or are you the runner up, supporting role in your own drama?
* When I say I ‘shouldn’t’ be doing something it is a standard that I have set for myself. Obviously this is relative to you as a person and your own moral code and ethics.