It’s been 3 months since I stopped working.
I have just been home, in Calgary, wondering what is next.
Today I got a company wide email that was a list of all the employees (flight attendants to be specific) and the number in which they will get called back to work. I am on the bottom rung. I will be the last of the Flight Attendants to get recalled. I have realized that will likely be 12-18 months away from now if – and only if – a miracle happens and we start flying at a regular full schedule sometime soon. In order for that to happen basically I will need Ms Corona to have disappeared or a vaccine to be introduced.
I don’t really fancy being on unemployment for an extended period of time. So now comes the hard part – figuring out what exactly I am going to do with my time. Inevitably – I am going to need to find a job.
I have no idea what that looks like.
Currently there is no wavering in my income – if I spend to much I just have less. There is no variation. There is no making more. There is no overtime.
I am the captain of my life and sometimes it is hard for me to really decide what direction I want to go in or what I actually want. It feels like I am here just existing in time.
Waiting for something.
Waiting but also …
Slightly lost. Slightly bored and slightly uncertain.
It is like I am experiencing burn out from doing nothing. Motivation is low – going out is sketchy and I am once again faced with the decision of what the heck I want to do.
While I have been off I have haphazardly started a whole bunch of projects. None of them I have completed. I have lost my focus and stopped caring about myself. I have become an all day snacker and I just can’t be asked to even try anymore.
So I decided I need to step up to bat and rule my world & this is how it is done:
- Most important: Stop being a scaredy pants – push past fear!
- Realize that unless I make things happen for myself they are likely not going to happen.
- Stop listening to other peoples advice
- Just start. Get up and do something.
- Get off the unproductive internet YouTube binge watching (or insert phone scrolling, Netflix binge watching or whatever unproductive behaviour)
- Pick one of the many projects and work on that till it is done, then start the next project.
- Clean out your work space – create a workspace – find a work coffee shop. Just do something that says “hey this is my creative working space”.
- Don’t stop. Keep working on your dream.
It is very true that you often regret the adventurous things that you never end up doing.
So what are you waiting for?
Who knows what the next couple of months have in store for me – but stay tuned as I adventure through the rest of 2020.