I inadvertently ask for permission a lot.
Like I am seeking approval from my friends because I want to fit in. But then I get mad when people shit on my plans. I take personal offense to it. It is a double edged sword. I want opinions, but I also don’t give a shit what people think.
I am curious how you feel about the typical dream zappers in your life? Because lets be real, we all have people in our lives that like to crush our dreams and make us feel stupid for even trying. It is crazy how this can really shift decisions in our lives without us even really noticing.
To those people I want to give you a heartfelt FUCK YOU – go ruin someone elses’ dreams.
Some of you might know a few years back I went to school and studied Architecture Technology. At the time I was really interested in alternative housing. If I am being honest, I am still pretty interested in tiny homes but these days it is more about van life. I am very interested in building a van into a RV; the classic millennial sprinter van turned tiny home. Maybe a short-term living solution but also maybe just long term fun. Mostly, I want to be able to have a little house on wheels that I can drive around the mountains in. Anyway a few nights ago, I found a pretty old camper van on kijiji (the Canadian version of craigslist) and got really excited. Now don’t get me wrong – buying a 40 year old vehicle comes with all sorts of potential problems. I texted a few people wanting to know what people thought of the particular van. I also wanted to know if anyone had purchased a used van online and what kinds of questions I should be asking. This is not my forte. I definitely don’t want to get taken advantage of so I tried enlisting a little bit of help.
The amount of negative comments and judgement = astounding. For a few moments it had me really wondering if I should even consider this type of investment. After I thought about it for awhile, I honestly wondered why someone elses’ opinion of what I want to buy or do really matters? Why did I even ask? Just because someone that isn’t creative or adventurous and can’t see the benefits of such an adventure – does that mean it shouldn’t get done? Silly.
Not only does their opinion not matter but nor does their judgement on your life.
My sense of adventure has always been that of someone that is willing to try with no money than to hold off and never do anything until I have a lot of money. I am not sure if it is quarantine or what but lately I have really just been thinking a lot about how I have lived my life and whose opinions have mattered. What other people think has really dictated a lot of things in my life. I have been questioning how I am at my happiest.
Not caring what people think to pursue things you want is hard. I want to know – is someone really your friend if they aren’t supporting you in at least some of your crazy ideas? I don’t know.
If you are having trouble pushing past those voices here are a few things you can try out:
- Stop listening to what other people think of your ideas – unless someone is at the very same level as you in the very same space it really is hard to take their opinion of you seriously. Sometimes it is honestly better to just shut up about your plans. Stop asking the world for permission and just go after what you want.
- If you want to take up blogging, vlogging, photography, an instrument or what ever it is – take the time and learn the craft. Let your passion fuel you – not judgement from other people. Half the battle is believing that you can!
- Find like minded individuals – if you think selling everything you own and moving to <insert random locale here > is what you need to do then do it. Just because someone is scared to go to Asia doesn’t mean you should rethink your life plan. Go by yourself and find all the others that did the same. You will make amazing new friends.
- You will never know what your vision could be if you never try. Get out there and create.
- Be bold. Be authentic and be you and stop asking permission from someone who don’t have one iota of a sense of adventure.
- The reason your are awesome and amazing and crazy is that you take the risks – I can’t imagine where I would be today had I not set off on a mission to pay off my debt seriously 3 years ago. Everything great takes time – so take the time, make the plan and start today.
If you are wondering I didn’t buy the van because it required $1500+ of work to fix the suspension and I would need to fix the stove and the fridge as well. I will continue the search for my perfect camper. I can’t decide if I should spend 15k and have a van that is ready to roll or 3k and have to put in 10K of fixes. I have put it out into the universe so we will see what happens.