Hey all you Cool Cats and Kittens – another Carol B here just checking in to see how you are all holding up?!
It Is Friday the 10th – my last blog series check in was 5 days ago. I literally have no idea where the time went.
So much has happened this week and then also nothing at all.
This week has been a gauntlet of emotions and sometimes when that happens it really is hard to put things into words. There are moments when it feels like there isn’t really much to say – and then days where I can’t stop the chatter. 
Here is the thing – I work for a fairly large well known company and I am technically on a leave. Now instead of learning my fate from my company I am learning my fate while watching the news or learning from other people sending my articles. So while we are all going through similar things – my work thing is very public and lots of people not related to my company are talking about it. Today it just seems like it is a lot to take in.
I feel like I am mentally preparing for a plan B – I can’t decide what that plan b should be. Do I go to journalism school? Do I get certified to teach in Canada? Do I plan to go and teach abroad? Do I even want to do that? Hard to plan when you don’t know what the fate of the world is going to be.
Anyway here is 20 things week I have done this week:
- Successfully avoided publishing anything I wrote because I couldn’t get my thoughts sorted and organized.
- Cracked off the remaining 7 gel nails – my hands are looking fucking stellar.
- Purchased 4 containers of super colorful hair dye – still looking for gloves so I can dye my hair without dying my hands.
- I just turned the heel on the sock I am knitting – pretty soon I will have a pair.
- Looked on the Government website at my tax forms. Did nothing with said forms.
- Drank coffee in a parking lot with my friend at a socially distant appropriate distance.
- Logged into my Arbonne site and then did nothing with it. Thought about doing things but then did nothing.
- Got really into Ozark – because what a crazy fucking ride that shit is.
- Cleaned my room, put on candles, made a mess, burned out candles
- Read books, meditated and did that again.
- Wondered when I was going to start feeling the way other people are feeling all overwhelmed and shit.
- Tried on every one of my toques.
- Drove up to Nose Hill more than once to have coffee in my car.
- Drank a lot of fizz (Honestly if no one has given you any of these to try – please let me know they are so damn good – they are going to replace my Diet Coke addiction)
- Drank a lot of tea – all the tea, daily tea.
- Been in denial about the amount of coffee I am drinking.
- Drank a lot of smoothies.
- Did some at home workouts – kickboxing, Beachbody and super long river walks.
- Made an appointment to get the drivers side door handle fix on my car, and the running light that burnt out months ago
- …. really assessing my life – I have had time to look in and dig deep and consider so many things. Who really knows where this journey is taking me but I have all the time in the world to figure it out.
That is what I have been up to the last few days #grounded. My emotions are raw. My mood is good and bad and good and bad and mostly I feel very hollowingly lonely and single. And that is just where I am at.
How is your week going?
