Do you live for Memories or in the ‘RIGHT NOW’ Moment?

I have had my laptop since 2010. It is an Acer. I am surprised it still runs, honestly. It has absolutely seen better days. I have known for some time now that I need to invest in a new computer. I have had to repair parts. I bought a new battery and a couple years ago the guy I was dating bought me a terabit drive for my birthday to back up the entire computer.  Since that time  – every photo, every bit of writing, every portfolio has been stored on that hard drive. It is my life. 2 nights ago  – it reconfigured and I lost everything.

I instantly wanted to cry.

All my photo memories. All my music. All my everything. It is soul crushing losing everything.

While making light of the situation one of my Besties said – maybe it is time to restart.  Is it the universes’ way of telling me to let go and move forward?  Maybe she is right. 

Maybe.

I am not frozen in time but sometimes I miss my old life so much that I have gotten so much anxiety about my new life.  I just think about being other places and forget that I am in a place. I am doing amazing things. The universe time and time again has offered me opportunity and I am so scared that I don’t take it. It is like she is dangling opportunity right in front of my face. People, things, events, social gatherings and I think no – it won’t compare to what I had. I am failing myself by not giving it a chance. Gawd Damn.

It is crazy how much trust I put into that little black box. All my memories, all my life, all my stuff. But the question is – are those things really important or is life trying to force me into a RESET!

I am going to take that magical box down to a  repair place and hope for the best today.  I wonder though – does all this social media, Instagram, Snap Chat, Facebook – the photo memories of our life place as much importance as we think it does? or are we just caught up in the hype of showing that we are interesting people?

What do you think? Is social media a tool for bragging or a place for memories?

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